BEING A WORKING MOM

I had been given three months of maternity leave and the end was drawing near. I had just began to enjoy the role of motherhood but had to make the toughest decision in going back to work. I felt guilty leaving my child, Khalill, so young but feeling guilty won’t help. After all, he was going to be under the care of my mom while his dad and I are at work.  However, this didn’t stop me from feeling devastated and I never knew how hard a transition it would be for a life as a WORKING MOM.

Like any other new moms returning to work after a maternity leave made me felt unraveled of my contradictory roles; being the best mom I could be and also providing for my new bundle of joy.

 I remembered crying on my first day back to work thinking of the distress and agony of leaving my son, my treasure - Khalill Treasure. More so, I had not yet adjusted to the working hours thus far or being custom to an 8am deadline. I was still exhausted from my nightly routines, being up through the night breastfeeding or just to cater to his needs.

While being back at work, sometimes I felt like my best wasn’t enough.  Deprivation of sleep was my biggest factor.  It impaired my thoughts, attentiveness, concentration and problem solving skills.  I came across moments when I told myself “I can't do this” or “I’m too tired” as I was handed dead end assignments with a limited deadline, which seemed evenly strenuous to my schedule as a working mom.

Being a mom was my first job and a great girlfriend, the office was my second. After leaving the office, I had to tend to my third.  This included picking my son from my mom if his dad wasn’t able to get him and be inclined to prepare dinner for my family and face a heap of laundry that needed to fold  and put away during the week.

Dealing with all these duties can be overwhelming and make you wonder if you are doing your best as a mother and have a concern for your child. Is my absence affecting his growth?

Nevertheless, I became to know my priorities, and that was to cut myself some slack. When I was at work, I made it my main concern to give my outmost best and rely on my confident childcare arrangements to do a good job in my 8 hours absence.  I have decided not to make a big deal out of a not so clean (spic-n-span) home or a perfect dinner every night.