Babies Escape

I've decided to show how kids escape from their barriers.  Khalill hasn't started as yet but this was interested to view.

Ten Things I Hate About Being Pregnant

Being Pregnant and having friends that are pregnant as well I thought that would have been a great experience for all of us.  In my case, the experience was terrible for majority of the time while pregnant. Below I've listed the top ten things that drove me crazy.

I bled for three whole months. Yes, it’s true! I noticed around week nine that I had spotting on my underwear.  I was scared and prayed so hard to my God asking him please don’t let me lose this child.  The doctor did an emergency ultrasound and found that my son was doing well and explained that some females go through their entire pregnancy experiencing this.  Not soon after, I started seeing heavy blood clots and was sent to do another ultrasound that showed that Khalill is developing well and did not affect me.  This lasted for three months and I couldn’t be any happier when it finally stopped.

Nausea and Vomiting. I went through my entire pregnancy throwing up.  Not one day past and I didn’t feel like I had to run to the bathroom to throw up.  Initially, the vomiting was so bad that I ended up in the emergency room because I couldn’t walk properly.  I was told that I had strained a muscle in my back from the consistent vomiting.  I was  given crotch stick to walk with because the pain was unbearable. 

Restless nights.  I got limited rest while pregnant with my son.  As soon as I was out is as soon as my body started feeling like some foreign object has evaded it and wanted to make it it’s own.  Khalill moved more at nights than how he did during the day and that kept waking me up.  I eventually found a remedy for him though.  I noticed that when I lay my warm lavender rice bag on my stomach, that was when he would relax and let me rest. That didn’t stay warm for too long and as soon as it wore off, he was at it kicking and stretching and driving me crazy all over again.

Heartburns / Acid Reflux.  This was the absolute low point in my pregnancy.  The heartburn started around week 34 and it kept coming.  Everything I ate gave me gas and not only that; it gave me bad heartburn.  They recommended sucking on tums and that didn’t help.  One Saturday I cried so hard, I felt like I was going to die.  The pain was so unbearable.  I had gone to see my doctor before and got a prescription for something that actually worked a miracle.

Bigger Boobs. Around week 12, I started seeing the size boobs that I always wanted and was fascinated with them.  Fast forward about twenty weeks later and I absolutely hate them.  They were too big and too heavy and my once perfect boobs now are imperfect.  I still hate them up to today.

I was very emotional. I hated the fact that everyone kept telling that I was emotional because of I was pregnant.  Even when I had a valid point, no one saw it because I was just getting upset because I’m going through the motions of being pregnant.  Needless to say, I threw a couple, well maybe a lot of tantrums.

The restroom became my best-friend.  I had the urge to urinate constantly.  I mean every ten to fifteen minutes I needed to visit the rest room.  I had to empty my bladder very often and this too made an impression on my sleepless nights. I couldn’t hold it because I always felt like I was going to explode.

I could no longer experience an impromptu sneeze or have a healthy laugh without urinating myself.  I peed on myself a couple times throughout this process due to sneezing and excess laughing.  I eventually started wearing Always Leak Guard to help keep me from making a mess on myself.

Feeling jealous of my friend.  My friend had a smooth pregnancy and I was jealous.  One had no morning sickness and another hardly gained any weight.  They slept well for most of the time and I kept complaining about what I’m going through.

The inability to get my shoes on.  I was pregnant right throughout the winter season so I had to wear winter boots.  It was a task and a half every single day to get on my socks and to put on my boots to walk in the snow.

BEING A WORKING MOM

I had been given three months of maternity leave and the end was drawing near. I had just began to enjoy the role of motherhood but had to make the toughest decision in going back to work. I felt guilty leaving my child, Khalill, so young but feeling guilty won’t help. After all, he was going to be under the care of my mom while his dad and I are at work.  However, this didn’t stop me from feeling devastated and I never knew how hard a transition it would be for a life as a WORKING MOM.

Like any other new moms returning to work after a maternity leave made me felt unraveled of my contradictory roles; being the best mom I could be and also providing for my new bundle of joy.

 I remembered crying on my first day back to work thinking of the distress and agony of leaving my son, my treasure - Khalill Treasure. More so, I had not yet adjusted to the working hours thus far or being custom to an 8am deadline. I was still exhausted from my nightly routines, being up through the night breastfeeding or just to cater to his needs.

While being back at work, sometimes I felt like my best wasn’t enough.  Deprivation of sleep was my biggest factor.  It impaired my thoughts, attentiveness, concentration and problem solving skills.  I came across moments when I told myself “I can't do this” or “I’m too tired” as I was handed dead end assignments with a limited deadline, which seemed evenly strenuous to my schedule as a working mom.

Being a mom was my first job and a great girlfriend, the office was my second. After leaving the office, I had to tend to my third.  This included picking my son from my mom if his dad wasn’t able to get him and be inclined to prepare dinner for my family and face a heap of laundry that needed to fold  and put away during the week.

Dealing with all these duties can be overwhelming and make you wonder if you are doing your best as a mother and have a concern for your child. Is my absence affecting his growth?

Nevertheless, I became to know my priorities, and that was to cut myself some slack. When I was at work, I made it my main concern to give my outmost best and rely on my confident childcare arrangements to do a good job in my 8 hours absence.  I have decided not to make a big deal out of a not so clean (spic-n-span) home or a perfect dinner every night.

My History Before Pregnancy

Finding out when I was pregnant was one of the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I know a lot of people throw those words around carelessly but for me it was real.  It was joy, a Heavenly Gift from God. I'll take you through my medical history prior I getting pregnant.  Ever since January 2008, I've been trying to conceive a child but to no avail.  I tried doing everything I could possibly think of to conceive naturally.  Eventually,  one day I decided to see a gynecologist and remembered walking into the clinic at 21 years old thinking; am I was normal? Will I ever have a child and how could this happen to me?  Not everyone wants a child but I knew for me, I wanted at least two.  One thing I forgot to mention, was that ever since I started getting a period,I would only menstruate once every 3 - 4 months.  As young as I was, I knew that this was not normal because all the other girls within my age group got a monthly period.  I remember wishing that I could get one and be in pain like the others. Missing something or not being able to control it makes you want it even more despite the turmoils that may come with it.

Furthermore, I went to the clinic and was sent to do a series of tests to figure out what was taking place. My gynecologist told me that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age.  He stated that I will have to be on constant medication in order to get a regular period and if that's possible then we could attempt to see if I could get pregnant.  This was one of the most devastating news that I could have heard.  I remembered heading home crying, crying for the fact that I may never be able to have a child and crying because I felt less than a woman.

For me, how could I be a woman without conceiving a child?

Time goes by and I started taking birth control medications that made me feel sick all the time.  I remember getting one particular drug, Metformin, which is normally prescribed for Diabetics. This drug is used to help control the amount of glucose that the human produce.  My Physician at the time stated  that my body was making too much glucose and this was one of the reasons why I wasn't able to get pregnant.  After months and months of being on this drugs, I decided to take myself off of it.  I reached the point where I accepted that getting pregnant was out of the question and so I started directing my energy towards something new.  That something new was migrating to the United States, getting a job and paying bills.  Within the first year of moving to the United States, I went to see a new gynecologist who I hoped had better news for me.   Again the bad news kept coming and I was once again given birth controls to regulate my menstrual cycle.  After a year and a half went by and nothing was regular about my cycles when I was taken off birth controls for a month,  Therefore, I decided to find an alternative. I decided to try herbal supplements to see if that could help me in getting pregnant. 


I took to the Internet and found one product that caught my eyes.  This product is called Fertilaid. Now this product I believe is a miracle worker.  Fertilaid helps to promote hormonal balance and reproductive wellness. At this time, I was more interested in finding out what balance this herbal supplement can give to my hormones that hasn't been working ever since I knew myself.  The very first thing that caught my eyes was the fact that it did not include a bunch of drugs that were created in some lab and also for the fact that there were other women like me who gave their personal review of the product.  These women has PCOS like myself and have also been on birth control for years; trying to regulate their cycle which never happened. Also, these very same women got a regular cycle and most were able to have a baby or two. Within the first two months of taking Fertilaid,  I noticed that I got a period that lasted for fourteen days.  I was excited that for the first time in  four years I was able to get a period without taking birth controls.  Fourteen days was normal for me and I couldn't be more happier.  My period kept coming for months after with shorter cycles. Oh Happy Day for me! Finally something that works. 


Eight months after I started taking Fertilaid, I started feeling sick. I felt nauseous, sleepy and tired.  I was extremely moody and wanted to stay away from everyone.  I remembered driving to the Connecticut River in August to pour my eyes out.  I called Fabian, my boyfriend, and cried hysterically.  He asked, "what's wrong with you babes?" and I answered "I don't know, I wanted to drive to the river to cry."  No one knew what was wrong with me and I couldn't explain it either.  The very next day I was telling my friend, Richard, about my very sad day and how I've been feeling lately and he said to me, "you're pregnant and you should take a test".  Naturally I told him to shut up and don't talk smack at my ears because to me that was never possible and I wasn't even trying.  I, however, decided to go along with it and went home to take a pregnancy test. Heaven Gates has opened and my jaw dropped when I saw the double line.  I was excited but then there's this little thing in the back of my mind that said the test is wrong.  I decided to go buy two more a try them that very day and to my surprise I saw double lines AGAIN.  I was elated, I was ecstatic.  I wanted to tell the world but here comes this thought again that all three test is not correct.  What do you think I did next?  I went to see my gynecologist that same day to take a fourth test.  The nurse returned with the result and said that I was about five week pregnant. I was then convinced that this was real.  I'm about to have a baby!  I immediately felt like a woman again and called my boyfriend to let him know the GREAT news.  Two week later I did an ultrasound and blood test and found out I was actually eight weeks pregnant.  That was just awesome!!!!